By Dr. Paula Hensley and Sagar Makanji, PharmD

Think back to New Year’s Eve, Tuesday, December 31, 2019. Maybe you had big plans that night to ring in the new year, or maybe you were spending a quiet evening at home. In either case, you probably had expectations about 2020 and hopes that it would be happy, healthy and prosperous…

Fast forward a couple months to February, 2020 when we began hearing more about a new coronavirus, COVID-19, originating from Wuhan, China that had made its way into the United States and was beginning to spread.

Changes caused by COVID-19

We started to see our world and our lives drastically change, experiencing loss and grief in several forms. For many of us, there were no more commutes to work, as we began to work from home if we were lucky enough to keep our job. There was no more getting the kids off to the bus stop or waiting in the drop-off line, as schools closed and switched to a virtual learning environment.

Parents lost the luxury of being able to fully concentrate on their jobs, as they were forced to take on the roles of teacher or daycare worker and daytime entertainer for their kids. Kids missed out on receiving the first-class education they depended on to feel prepared for the next school year or even college.

Healthcare workers risked their lives and those of their family to care for the people who were getting sick from COVID-19, worried they had been infected and wanted to get tested, or needed regular healthcare. Essential workers in grocery stores, post offices, public transportation, and other industries also became heroes as they continued to come to work to keep the country running, despite fearing for their own health and lives.

And there wasn’t a roll of toilet paper or paper towels to be found.

Social isolation

Across the board, we didn’t get to spend precious in-person time with our extended family and friends because we were doing our part to bend the curve and stop the spread of COVID-19. We didn’t get to go to the gym and may have fallen behind in our physical fitness. Our kids didn’t get to participate in their beloved sporting or other extracurricular events. Medical procedures were cancelled. Vacations were cancelled. Weddings were cancelled. Graduations were cancelled. Everything was cancelled.

Our dreams and plans were put on hold.

COVID-19 mental health toll

We certainly couldn’t have imagined this would be how the year would start off and end. Spring, summer, fall and winter, and all that comes with each, did not happen the way we have all become accustomed to for our entire lives.

And while we have done our best to adapt, the grief and loss of loved ones, financial security and social normality we have experienced over the past year has taken its toll on our mental health.

Where to go from here

We encourage you to watch a recording of our webinar “Coping with grief and loss during COVID-19” with Paula Hensley, MD, Magellan Healthcare senior medical director; Sagar Makanji, PharmD, Magellan Rx vice president, clinical strategy and programs; and Mark Santilli, PharmD, Magellan Rx senior director, clinical strategy and programs, as they share knowledge and tips for persevering after grief and loss due to COVID-19 and answer audience questions.

For additional COVID-19 resources from Magellan Health, click here.

The stress of COVID-19 can present many challenges to those who are in recovery. In particular, social distancing is limiting people’s ability to get support from friends, family, and support groups.

Connection to others in recovery is a big part of the solution for many in recovery. Meetings make people feel supported and understood in ways nothing or no one else can. With much of the world under orders to quarantine or shelter in place, people in recovery can struggle to maintain a connection to their support groups. The good news is many recovery groups are scheduling virtual meetings, and that number is increasing each day.

Below are links to information about virtual 12-step and non-12-step meetings. These meetings take place in a variety of ways: over the phone, in online community posting forums, in social media groups, and through video.

Also, if you have a sponsor, peer specialist, or other special relationship, maintain that connection through text, email, phone, and FaceTime, or Skype.

12-Step Programs 

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA; aa.org): For regularly scheduled virtual meetings, visit aa-intergroup.org and click on Online Meetings.

• Narcotics Anonymous (NA; na.org): For regularly scheduled virtual meetings, visit www.na.org/meetingsearch. In the NA Meeting Search box on the right, select “Phone” or “Web” in the Country field drop-down list.

• Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics; al-anon.org): For regularly scheduled virtual meetings, visit al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/electronic-meetings.

• Nar-Anon (for families and friends of addicts; nar-anon.org): For regularly scheduled virtual meetings, visit www.naranon.com/forum.

Other Programs

Some in recovery prefer non-12 step programs. Listed below are a few organizations who provide virtual support.

• SMART Recovery (for people with addictive problems; smartrecovery.org): To find online forums and meetings, visit www.smartrecovery.org/smart-recovery-toolbox/smart-recovery-online.

• LifeRing (for people addicted to alcohol or drugs; lifering.org): To find online video meetings via Zoom, visit www.lifering.org/online-meetings.

• Women for Sobriety (for women facing issues of alcohol or drug addiction; org): For information on the online community, visit wfsonline.org.

For more information and tips, visit MagellanHealthcare.com/COVID-19.

COVID-19 has disrupted our lives in many ways. The stress of social distancing and loss of routine, compounded with health and job concerns, has caused grief and anxiety levels to increase. What we thought of as “normal” is in transition, and we need to redefine how to cope with these changes.

Reasons people feel grief

Grief is a natural feeling accompanying any kind of loss. Typically, grief is associated with losing a loved one to death. With COVID-19, people are experiencing grief related to the loss of routines, livelihoods and relationships. While it is always good advice to be thankful for what we have, it is also important not to minimize the pandemic or its associated losses. Also challenging is that we do not know how long we’ll be impacted by COVID-19. With no clear end in sight, feelings of grief can intensify and make people feel less in control.

Grief shows itself in different ways

It’s perfectly normal to grieve when you can’t celebrate your child’s birthday, your friend’s graduation, your honeymoon or other important life events. It’s important to know that we all grieve differently. Some people may experience feelings more intensely than other people. We shouldn’t make judgments about how someone grieves. There is nothing wrong with having emotions; it is a common response to loss. When we don’t express our feelings, they can get stuck in our bodies, causing physical illness and/or depression.

Listed below are some of the common emotions people experience when grieving, and they may be heightened because of the pandemic.

• Shock, disbelief and denial
• Anger
• Fear
• Guilt
• Helplessness
• Anxiety and depression
• Acceptance and hope
• Relief

Complicated grief

In the current environment, any losses experienced now have additional layers of complexity and depth. Likewise, if we’ve had previous traumas from earlier stages in our lives, the stress of the pandemic might bring up past life experiences that were painful. It’s important to be sensitive to those potential triggers.

COVID-19 has brought on many situations: not being able to say goodbye, to have a funeral service, to grieve because of taking care of others, dreams put on hold, etc. We don’t have the same levels of support due to the quarantine, such as being able to see loved ones and friends. For these reasons and others, it is important to develop coping skills to help get us through this difficult time.

Understanding grief

Part of what gives comfort during challenging times is understanding the healing process.

• Grief can be an ongoing process. It can take on different forms and meanings and with time; the intensity and feelings of grief do change.
• Grief doesn’t mean you obsessively think about what has happened. It is important to allow yourself to deal with the feelings, but obsessively thinking about the pain and fear will only make the feelings worse and can trigger anxiety.
• Grief does not mean “forgetting.” If you have experienced a significant loss or you have missed out on a long-planned event, it is okay to think about who or what you will miss. Part of the grieving process involves keeping your loved ones and/or cherished dreams with you emotionally, as they are still a part of you even if they are no longer a physical reality.
• Grief involves growth. Whether it is coping with the death of a loved one, going through a traumatic event or dealing with the loss of a job, no one chooses these experiences. Working through grief and sorting through intense emotions can help you learn new things about yourself and discover new strengths that can result in emotional growth and maturity. In this way, loss sometimes yields gifts.

How to help yourself

• Build a virtual support system. In the era of social distancing, be creative about how to give and receive support. It’s important to turn to friends, co-workers or family members for support. People like to be of service. Giving and receiving are part of the same equation and benefit all.
• Focus on hope. We all have times when we feel hopeless. Being hopeful helps you realize that we all have tough times and that those times will pass, as will the feelings associated with them.
• Take care of yourself. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you also feel better emotionally. When you feel sad, do not be influenced by how others think you should grieve. It’s important to feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, cry or not cry. It’s also okay to laugh, find moments of joy and let go when we’re ready.
• Practice gratitude. Sometimes when people are in the midst of loss, they have deep moments of gratitude for what they once had. Practicing gratitude trains our minds to change our thinking and to see the glass as half full.

How to help others

• What to say. It can feel awkward when conversing with someone going through grief. You may wonder what to say ornot say; however, don’t avoid the topic or be afraid to bring it up. Open the door for the grieving person to talk about their feelings. It’s not helpful to say things like, “There’s a reason for everything,” or ” “I know how you feel.” Instead, you can offer a simple expression of sorrow, such as “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” or “I don’t know how you feel, but I’d like to help in any way I can.”
• Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. Or very little. A grieving person may need to tell their story again and again as part of the process. Be willing to listen without judgment. A good rule to follow is to listen 80 percent of the time and talk the other 20 percent. Your presence can be comforting to a grieving loved one, and you don’t have to do anything special. Often, grieving people just don’t want to be alone.
• Avoid giving advice. Unless someone specifically asks for your advice, it isn’t your place to give it. Grieving people need to do things in their own unique way.
• Don’t take things personally. When people are in profound emotional pain, they can cycle through a whole range of feelings, including irritability and anger. If a grieving person snaps at you, or doesn’t feel like engaging, don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.
• Offer to help. Grieving can make the demands of daily living feel overwhelming. Many times, the grieving person does not want to burden others by asking for help. Don’t wait for them to ask. Instead, offer to help by bringing over dinner, shopping, gardening, etc. During the quarantine, there might be a limit to what you can physically do to help, but you can still take on tasks for the individual to relieve some burdens.

For more information and tips, visit MagellanHealthcare.com/COVID-19.

The COVID-19 global pandemic is taking a physical, mental and emotional toll on doctors, nurses, healthcare workers and caregivers. The long work hours and limited resources are causing overwork, exhaustion and in some cases, compassion fatigue. Not to mention balancing your work with the concerns for your own family and loved ones.

What is compassion fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is a state of chronic physical and mental distress and exhaustion. People with this fatigue often describe a negative shift in their world view and a preoccupation with the illness of others. They may experience stress and burnout, affecting their ability to be effective in their jobs and relate to their loved ones and friends.

Tips for preventing compassion fatigue:

• Make self-care a priority. Despite your workload, do your best to practice healthy habits. Focus on making sure you are staying hydrated, sleeping as much as possible, eating nutritious meals and getting exercise when you can. Follow the COVID-19 CDC guidelines on keeping yourself and your family’s risk low.
• Boost your emotional resilience. Deep breathing, meditation, being grateful and allowing yourself some down time are ways to keep your life in balance, so you are better able to handle stress, setbacks and crises.
• Get social support. Reaching out over the phone or through a text message to supportive loved ones, friends and colleagues can be a calming influence and shift your perspective on what you are dealing with every day.
• Be proud of your profession. Your work is important. You are caring for people during the first-ever pandemic caused by a coronavirus and giving them hope and strength.
• Seek professional help. If you are experiencing distress and/or symptoms of burnout, take advantage of your healthcare and employee assistance benefits and meet with a behavioral health professional who can help.

We wholeheartedly thank you for all you are doing to care for others and combat this outbreak.

For more information and tips, visit MagellanHealthcare.com/COVID-19.